Since I didn't finish this post in time for Wednesday this week I figured I would just post it today.
I am doing a book review series (otherwise known as your own personal sparknotes :) on the book "Don't Make Me Count To Three" by Ginger Plowman.
Chapter 3 focused on heart issues. Ms. Plowman talked about not talking TO your child, but WITH them. She says not to ask "who had it first?" and met out justice, but to get to the attitude of their heart and address it with Scripture. Ultimately, our goal is to help our kids recognize what is in their own heart and think like a Christian.
"In all conflicts, we should begin our training by seeking to understand the nature of the internal conflict that was expressed in the outward behavior."
This is really a struggle for me. It's so often easier just to ask "who had it first" and solve the conflict quickly. I need to remember that solving the outward obedience now isn't taking care of the heart attitude.
Training children in righteousness is the theme of chapter 4. The main point is to question your children to get back to their motivation for their actions. The biggest thing I learned from this chapter is to role-play/practice correct behavior when you are disciplining. For example, Will's uncle sometimes likes to pick on him. We have been practicing telling CJ "no-no" and coming to mommy. One thing I thought Ms. Plowman overlooked was praising children for obedience. I thought it was a good addition to the practicing correct behavior. Praise good behavior. I try to do this with Will and it really seems to reinforce and encourage his actions.
Stay tuned for part 3 coming Wednesday...
This post is linked to Family Friday over at Homemaker Barbi. It's a new carnival that looks really neat if you'd like to check it out!